| Being a Gemini is a curse. I read my entries in the past and I was always "lost" Living...existing..Grasping at the hope that when I got older I would have answers to lifes biggest questions. What is my purpose in life, Will I be happy, will I find my way? It will get better when Im older? Why do we think that when we are young? If only I, we, you understood that when you were younger it was actually easier. I say being a Gemini is a curse because I read up on my personality traits as a Gemini. Some people do not believe in astrology, I wouldnt but everything about a Gemini is me to the core. I mean if you want to know who I am deep inside, things I didnt even know about myself until it was put into words by astrologist- read up on a Gemini and there will be your answers. Its all in the positioning of the stars, its not like random things. No, I dont believe in horoscopes. Im sure you could get your true horoscope but it wouldnt be free and not something you just google online. As a Gemini basically we have to be entertained 24/7. Once we are bored, once I am bored I get irratable and highly annoyed. Basically it seems our main purpose in life is to find "your other half" settle down, have a family. Im 23, I found that person. Rocky, yeah...We finally did officaially date. He was my prince charming. He bought a house we lived together. Want to know what happens next? I became bored feeling like a drone. Like every day I could tell you what Id be doing. If our main purpose in life is to find that one and settle down and have a family...how can I have a purpose? I dont think I can do that. Are other Geminis like this? Or is it just me? I know guys are like that when they are around my age, but I as a female at this age I shouldnt be this way. I thought maybe it was just that Rocky has been in my life for so long, that I relied on him to much. That he became less of a romantical partener and more of... I dont want to say friend. We were a million times more then that. I dont know what you would call it. I dont believe in love, or maybe I dont belive in loving more then one person...I love Rocky. I cant be with him though. Well what Im getting at, is I started just very recently "talking" to someone else. Once he started getting serious, I started feeling smothered. He is everthing a girl would want in a guy. He is a Rocky. Im already backing away. I wish I wasnt born in May. I am the picture perfect Gemini. Give me stability and I go find the biggest tornado I can, because I want a wreck, I do not want picture perfect. I want to want it, but I cant. Its not who I am. It sucks to have such an understanding of yourself, and the world. When I was writing in my old posts I had a very small understanding, well its more like I had this wall. Id start wondering when things would pick up, when I would stop creating world wins (sp?) for myself to clean up. But I didnt delve deep because the wall came up. The wall of, well Ill get older and Ill be the cookie cutter wife..I wont be my Mother. I hate to even think about it, but I think thats just whats happening. Cant stop genetics. Im glad to understand though, because she doesnt. She thinks its normal. I know its not normal to be this way. What can you do? Embrace who you are and make the best of it. I wish the world had more to it you know? When everyone is dead set on finding "love" when thats what we've been taught, how can we not fall into the same pattern? I want to be more then that. I dont know what else there is to be though? Because the world hasnt taught us. "Help, I have done it again. I have been here many times before. Hurt myself again today. And the worse part is there's noone else to blame." GEMINI
Gemini, the sign of the Twins, is dual-natured, elusive, complex and contradictory. On the one hand it produces the virtue of versatility, and on the other the vices of two-facedness and flightiness. The sign is linked with Mercury, the planet of childhood and youth, and its subjects tend to have the graces and faults of the young. When they are good, they are very attractive; when they are bad they are more the worse for being the charmers they are. Like children they are lively, and happy, if circumstances are right for them, or egocentric, imaginative and restless. They take up new activities enthusiastically but lack application, constantly needing new interests, flitting from project to project as apparently purposelessly as a butterfly dancing from flower to flower. To them life is a game which must always be full of fresh moves and continuous entertainment, free of labor and routine. Changing horses in the middle of the stream is another small quirk in the Gemini personality which makes decision making, and sticking to a decision, particularly hard for them.
Since they lack the quality of conscientiousness, they are apt to fight a losing battle in any attempts they make to be moral (in the widest sense of the word). Their good qualities are attractive and come easily to them. They are affectionate, courteous, kind, generous, and thoughtful towards the poor and suffering - provided none of the activities resulting from expressing these traits interferes too greatly with their own lives and comforts. They quickly learn to use their outward attractiveness to gain their own ends, and when striving for these they will use any weapon in their armory - unscrupulous lying, and cunning evasiveness; escaping blame by contriving to put it on other people, wrapped up in all the charm they can turn on. In their better moments they may strive to be honest and straightforward, but self-interest is almost always the victor. If things go against them, they sulk like children.
Also like children, they demand attention, admiration, and the spending on them of time, energy and money, throwing tantrums if they don't get what they want. They reflect every change in their surroundings, like chameleons, and can become pessimistic, sullen, peevish and materialistically self-centered if circumstances force them to struggle in any way. If the conditions of life become really adverse, their strength of will may desert them entirely. They can become uncertain of themselves, either withdrawn, or nervously excitable worriers, sullenly discontented, hard and irritable, with "Self" looming ever larger in their struggles. On the other hand their versatility can make them very adaptable, adjusting themselves to control the world around them by means of their inherent ingenuity and cleverness.
Most Gemini have a keen, intuitive, sometimes brilliant intelligence and they love cerebral challenges. But their concentration, though intense for a while, does not last. Their mental agility and energy give them a voracious appetite for knowledge from youth onward, though they dislike the labor of learning. They easily grasp almost everything requiring intelligence and mental dexterity, and are often able to marry manual skills to their qualities of mind. Their intellect is strongly analytical and sometimes gives them so great an ability to see both sides of a question that they vacillate and find it hard to make decisions. But their intelligence may very well be used to control and unify the duality of their natures into a most efficient unit. If faced with difficulties, they have little determination to worry at a problem until they find a solution - they will pick the brains of others. In their intellectual pursuits, as in other departments of their lives, they risk becoming dilettantes, losing themselves in too many projects which they follow until they become difficult.
In love they are fickle, not intentionally so but because of the basic inconsistency of their emotional nature, which has an amoral aspect to it. Their is a side to Geminians which can become deeply involved emotionally, and another, hostile to sentimentality, which stands back from a romantic situation, laughing at it and the protagonists in it, including themselves while analyzing it intellectually. Gemini subjects take nothing seriously. So, in love, in spite of their temporary depth of feeling, for the intensity of involvement lasts only while it is new, they are superficial, light-hearted, cool, flirtatious and unimaginative in the understanding of the pain they may give others. They like intrigue, the excitement of the chase, but once they have caught the prey, they lose interest and look around for the next creature to pursue. In less serious situations they make witty, entertaining companions, good acquaintances rather than friends. Even at their worst they are never dull - there is usually playfulness below the surface, and they can be brilliant conversationalists - but they can also be quarrelsome, prattlers, boasters, liars and cheats.
Geminians can be successful in many walks of life though their general characteristics tend to make them unreliable. They are often skilled manipulators of language, in speech and writing, and may be: debaters, diplomats (though in politics they are more interested in theory than practice), orators, preachers (brilliant rather than profound), teachers, authors, poets, journalists, or lawyers. In business any work which combines quick-wittedness with a change of surroundings suits them; working as a traveling salesperson, brokerage work, or dealing with the public in any capacity is right up their alley. Because they are dispassionate, logical, rational and analytical they make good scientists, especially in the fields of medicine and astronomy. They can also make excellent members of the Armed Forces, for they take danger no more seriously than anything else and can earn themselves a reputation for devotion to duty and heroic acts. In the arts they may excel in music, painting and sculpture. They make good psychic researchers of a sceptical kind. Negatively they can degenerate into confidence tricksters, thieves and even adepts in the black arts.
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so um basically i can get on the laptop here...but when im on here all i want to do is watch stuff like paris hilton bff and like the real world lol. anway
